I made a little survey to find out where most of these people find their long distance partners.
I joined a group on Facebook named LDRmindset group.
Check out for their answers!
Date in Asia
Others ( During travel, at the bar, friends etc)
So here’s my initial findings, most people found their partner in social media, commonly Facebook app. Some in pages, groups, instagram messenger, etc. It is understandable because social media is very accessible, free of charge and easy to use.
If you have an amazing story to share, please don’t forget to DM us on Instagram to be feature on our page and inspire others!
Most people would say that they do not know when and how it started. They just feel it. Yes. That might be true. Love comes in unexpected way but there are reasons why you feel love towards him/her.
Here are some of the reasons why I’m head to toe in love to my boyfriend:
1. He found me. I still do not know how exactly it happened that we were meant to be at the exact time in our lives. Two lonely hearts crossed paths. But I will be grateful for it forever.
2. He loves me instantly. Before you even knew me, you already knew. He said to me in our first date,” you can even fall in love on a first date”, I do not know what he meant by that but now I know.
3. I love him first but knowing that he loves me back making me fall for him even more.
4. He accepted me. My light and my shadow. Everything about me. I am myself when I’m with him because he gives me light when I was in the dark.
5. He showed me himself. He opened up about his life, about his past. He allowed me to enter his life. And I showed myself.
6. He is trustworthy. I trust him with all my life and my heart. I know I am safe in his arms. I know he will protect me with his life.
7. I love his voice. He only sing for me.
8. I love his skin, his lips, nose and height.Honestly, he is the man of my dreams.
9. He is sweet and thoughtful. He knows what I like and give it without me asking and I appreciate it a lot. That is why I am returning the favor and send him something sweet. (See it in my other blog)
10. He is funny. In front of other people, he is a very shy type of guy but with me, he is himself.
11. He makes me feel like I am the most beautiful girl on earth. And that really boost my confidence.
12. I love how quickly I turn him on. Isn’t it one of the important aspects in relationship as well? (This is private haha)
These are some of the reasons why but without noticing all these I just love him the way he is . On how we are everyday. Wether long distance or together. We just enjoy each other’s company and have fun together.
Now here’s the thing, a lot of foreigners now are complaining to Mr. Tulfo Show to report of their Filipina partners scamming them. Because of that, it draws attention of many people and truth is, it’s very degrading. Though i cannot blame them for doing that.
However, this also drives the question, kung kayo pa di babawiin pero kung hiwalay na bawian? Where in the first place, some of the “things” are willingly given.
My opinion, no matter, how rich your partner is, those money doesn’t came from nowhere. It’s sweat, blood and tears. Therefore, i don’t f*ck*ng believe they willingly gave it without a person asking for it no matter how indirectly tell the person that they want something.
If that’s the case, it only compulsory to return the “things” they ask.
To be honest, shaun gave me things willingly but when i also told him about my problem here, help me,monetarily. I’m not being hypocrite here but if he wants it back, I’ll return it.
I know this is random and I apologize if I step some toes for this. Triggered by the story of a sacmmer.
We, Filipinas are lucky enough to find our foreign partners. We should be grateful for the love and care we receive we think we deserve.
But is it too much too appreciate what our foreign partners can give? Can we at least give them thanks,love and care in return? Some of Filipinas only care about money, that’s a fact. Don’t be hypocrite about it. But do you have any idea how they work hard for it? Their situation? And how hard they save just to see us. My boyfriend is not rich but he saves to see me that’s why I’m patiently waiting.
We should understand where they come from. They don’t ask anything except LOVE.
Please don’t disregard what you have now because the one you replace, may not be the person you think he is.
Bad karma is around the corner. Please be reminded that if you let go on someone, someone is ready to catch that person and keep him.
Appreciate your partner. Money can’t buy happiness and love. Only material things and temporary enjoyment.
Few people are messaging me, singles or taken, asking on how i keep my long distance relationship on fire.
Handling the relationship varies the type of personality you and your partners have. Getting to know each other. That’s the basic. Spending time together or being honest with each other will help you understand and build a stronger foundation in this type of relationship.
I have 5 steps here that actually work might help you survive a long distance relationship.
Communication is essential. Without this, you will feel disconnected with your special someone. You cannot have a better understanding to your online date or girlfriend and cannot create a strong bond despite being away from each other. Whether it is through call, text, chat emails, video call, anytime or anywhere.
Yo won’t be updated what is going on with his or her on the other side of the world.
For me and Shaun, since his is 4 hours ahead of me, he always first greeted me a morning messages then tell me about his morning or even his dreams. As soon as i wake up each morning, i always first check his messages and respond to it. At first, you will feel that this is tiring or boring but if you make it a habit then you will lacking without messaging each other about anything. I did not aiming for a respond right away because we respect each others time. We are both working so we message when we can and check as soon as we have time.
Also, you have to consider a good way to communicate. We only use viber since Shaun does not have any social media account. Thankful for viber that is equipped with the things we needed in communication.
2. Trust Each Other
Trust plays a vital part in a healthy relationship especially in a long distance relationship. Why? Because you are not together. Your partner cannot see how are you doing, what are you doing or who you are with. Most of the relationship in LDR falls apart because of it. Most people don’t give trust right away in the early stage of their relationship. Trust needs to be earn. Trust are invested, that if this falls apart, then its DONE.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship before that i even begged someone to trust me but he failed to accept it. It was hard not to be trusted because i know myself i did not do anything wrong and i keep hoping and praying that person sees it. I did everything and it’s depressing. Still he did not trust me. But later i realized, i was not the problem. It was him. That was when i started not trusting anyone right away. Because i know myself. I am always honest. Before i trust someone, he or she should be honest to me as well.
For Shaun and I, we always tell each other about anything. No secrets. Whenever we went and who we are with. For example, i went to Iloilo, he knows that is faraway from Manila so i keep him updated so that he will feel that his with me during my travel. If I’m with friends, i always send him pictures or videos during the event. Introduce him to people i am with at that moment.
Without trust, we won’t be here. We won’t last long.
3.Respect and Accept One’s Personality
Shaun is introvert. That one word tells everything. I, on the other hand, an extrovert. May be the reason we stay strong and stay this long it’s because we are totally opposite. Because of our opposite personalities we keep learning or discovering things to each other.
Being serious is too boring. You have to be sweet, funny, naughty, diligent, and creative. If you can be all of that then trust me, that will help you to win someone’s heart easily.
Even Shaun wants a quiet environment, i tend to make things fun for him. He knows i hate boring environment and i know he hates noisy or loud sounds. So we tend to respect what we like or dislike and give each other’s time.
Timing is the key. Overdoing it is a big No.
4. Virtual Dates
Find a creative way to spend each other time despite the distance. Shaun initially thought of this idea. We accidentally ate the same food one Saturday and he thought of eating the same food each Saturdays. I find it very cute coming from a guy. Usually, girls though of cute things in a relationship.
We started that since 2017 and until now we are still doing it even together. It’s like a tradition for us that our week won’t be complete without it. During Saturdates we talk a lot of things like future activities, how we are for the week during work or talk about other people.
Most couples do online games together as their bonding time or watch the same movies. So, think of a creative ways to spend time with your LDR partner.
5. Sending Gifts, Letters or Visit
Giving provides greater satisfaction than receiving.
An online relationship won’t be complete without meeting each other. But don’t push it on someone. I know some people who are pushing their partners to meet them in person. First, we have to consider the financial capacity of our partner. We don’t love them for money in the first place. Unless thats your ulterior motive in online dating. There is a right time for that and probably your partner is already saving for it.
Since i can’t visit Shaun to his country, i thought of sending him a package. I am not sending him gifts just because i want something in return. He even told me that letters i made are enough and haven’t thought he will get lots. He really appreciated it because no one has ever done that for him. It makes me happy because that’s my purpose, to make him happy.
If you are reading this now, start making your move. Follow my steps and message me how it goes.
You guys can also reach me via instagram. I’ll be happy to help you and giving you advices through my experience.
Love stories are wonderful. They are priceless. For others, mine was not extraordinary but for me, my story was the best thing that had happened to me.
I want to share my story to inspire others on how i found love online. I want them not to cease believing that love can be found in a hopeless state.
My name is Angel, my boyfriend is Shaun and this is our story!
I’ve been in a long distance relationship journey since 2014 and all ended in pain. Funny thing was, I never meet any of them in real life. I know you will ask why foreign men and believe me I know what some of you are thinking. I never have any Filipino boyfriend. That’s a fact. I also had Filipino crushes but none of them like me and those who like me never caught my interest. I guess, we all have that kind of preferences when it comes to finding your perfect match. I always fancy white guys with blue, gray or green eyes. I am a huge fan of foreign movies and fairytale stories. May be that’s the reason why I like foreign men. Tall, white guy, beautiful eyes. I am not a racist but it’s my ideal guy.
Shaun, on the other hand, was not also very lucky when it comes to relationship as well. He said he does not like some New Zealand girls by their attitude. Though, he had a Kiwi ex girlfriend before me and never had any Filipina. It only lasted for weeks. Now, he decided to go for a vacation and found his someone special. Took him awhile to decide. I was his first ever long distance girlfriend and i am happy to know that.
As i shared on my previous blogs, before Shaun, i had this long distance chatmate which i fell in live with. I’m still moving on that time when i decided to try once more.
As i cried once again that night, i prayed and made a wish. I said, “Lord, just make me happy this valentines day and help me find a date. I promise that if this one doesn’t work out, i will not date anyone anymore. But if this works out, i promise he will be the last date i will ever have.”
How we met
I met Shaun from FilipinoCupid site. It was before February 10, 2017 when i decided to sign up again and find a date. As i prayed to date one in Valentines day and make myself happy.
I never thought he will respond to my messages. Yes! I initiated the meeting. Since, I read in his profile that he was here in the Philippines for vacation and to find his someone special.
But surprisingly, he agreed. He’s already in Philippines for a week before we met.
To be honest, this wasn’t the first i met someone online and have dinner with or talk in person. Though, i must admit, after meeting, the guy rarely talk to me after that. It really puts my confidence to a lower level.
I was nervous. I can’t explain what to feel at the moment since i woke up that morning. I was busy thinking how to act infront of him. What to wear. What will happen after that day.
I’m on my way while he messages me that his already there waiting at Greenbelt. I answered him that I’m almost there then he messaged me the exact location.
Although, I already knew what he looks like but I’m super nervous that he will saw me first and will decide not to meet me after all.
I was in a little bridge in Greenbelt Makati when he messaged me where I was. I told him that I’m near then he said he’s looking at me. I panicked and my heart beats so fast when I saw this handsome guy waiting for me at the end of the bridge. He has standing there with this big smile on his face and literally my heart skips a bit and I could not find the exact words to say.
We ended up eating at Chateau Restaurant. To ease my nervousness I initiated the conversation and I noticed that he talks a lot like me, so I feel comfortable then we talked a lot of things. In one night, we talked like we know each other for a long time.
Like he said, you can even fall in love on a first date. And I did!
Our first ever photos together:
After that night, I never thought he will continue chatting me and spend the rest of his vacation with me.
I never thought it’s a sign that he chose me. He never formally asked me to be his girlfriend. But we are happy.
And that happiness will stay for as long as we feel the same way.
There were sings that we are meant to be:
Wish – Broken and crying in the dark, I whisper that whoever asked me on a date will be my last date. If it won’t work then I will stop dating anymore.
Age – I filtered my search preferences on filipinocupid to age 27-33 only. That time, I think 35 above is already old for my age 26. Shaun put age 31 on his profile (check the photo). Only to find out he is turning 36 that time.If he put his real age,then, I would never ever meet Shaun.
Options – Shaun told me, there are lots of girls messaging him. He said he get a hundreds every day. I asked him why me. Just wondering. He said I am cute, lol. And I think he chose great! 😀
Ex date – when Shaun arrived here in Philippines, he dated a girl. I appreciate the honesty there. But he dumped her because she showed some attitude according to Shaun. I never asked anymore and that is not important anyway. Her loss, my gain. If she is the right one, then I wouldn’t met Shaun.
Shaun on the other side hand, told me that if not for his mothers first stroke we won’t ever met.
He said, years back, he was jobless, no savings and his mother’s stroke triggered him to find a job and save. He managed to go on a vacation aftert that where he met me.
Now, both of our dating accounts were deactivated. We are still in a long distance right now and only waiting for the result of our visa application.
We don’t love each other since first meeting. We build friendship because we like each other, respect each other, and that’s how we found love.
LDR or not it is the same feeling – we love. Love comes in any shapes and sizes. It only varies how deep you love that person and for what reason. But experiencing good love gone bad is so painful. The pain which prevents us from moving forward. We all know that moving on isn’t easy. While time is the best healer, let me tell you how i moved on.
After my last LDR break up, I had several sleepless night with non stop cries. Imagine yourself dying inside but need to keep on living. Pretending that everything was fine. I thought, no one will noticed but it reflected in my productivity. I told my supervisor what I’ve been going through. I’m not the type of person to randomly open a sensitive issue involving myself. I thought they will only laugh at it.
But an open ears, open mind and shoulders to cry on helped me clear my thoughts. Because i was so negative. I have no will to live. I even thought about suicide many times. Luckily, I have a phobia of cuts – an open wound. I also distanced myself with everyone. I only wanted to cry and sleep every night. Only God and few friends knew what i did just to forget the pain.
One day, i just woke up, faced the mirror and hated the way i look. I felt so ugly. I realized this is not what i want for myself. I felt angry. I wanted revenge if possible. I slowly fixed what was broken. I wanted to be strong and showed them what they’ve lost.
Figuring out how to move on from a relationship is one of the most difficult transitions in a person’s life. But it somehow come out naturally.
These are the steps that helped me move on.
1. Cut the connection
I realized that i cannot move on if i still have his contact information. Because whenever i missed him, i easily sent him any messages. The more i message him, the more i wanted him to respond. If he responded, i was hoping we can fix what we had. It was hard. There were times that i deleted all his information, but find ways to have it back from my record. But in the end, i managed to do it. Congratulations if you did! You feel relieved. I’m telling you.
2. Practice forgiveness
At first, i had many “why’s”. Why he replaced me? Why her? Why not me? I never felt so insecure in my entire life. After i learning it the hard way and accepting the fact why it happened, i finally understood that you can’t easily manipulate someone’s heart. To where it beats. You can avoid or control but once you’re drown with those feelings, it is hard to get out. He met her with a circle of friends in a bar. They bonded. Enjoy each other’s company then fell in love. For someone like me that is far from him, i only saw him or talked to him via phone. We can’t touch each other. I felt that i can’t compete with her. When i decided to let go, i wished them their happiness and hoped that the choice he made was right. I forgive him. But I cannot forget what he did.
3. Love yourself
How can i fight a war if i look miserable? If i continue to be hurt then it will reflect on my appearance and everyone will feel sorry for me. We don’t want that, do we? I changed myself. Not only physically, but aslo emotionally.
4. Focus on other things
Keep yourself busy. Do what you like/love. I know that when we are heart broken, we only focus on being hurt. We tend to forget the things that once makes us feel alive.
Travel – wether if with friends or alone. Exploring new places refreshes our soul.
Focus on your job – we always hear that we should set aside personal matters when we are at work but sometimes it’s not that easy. But if there are available projects, grab the opportunity to make yourself busy. Remind yourself why you need to work.
Spend time with family – no one can understand you better than your family. Not everyone has that family we can rely on but if you do, it will help a lot.
Hang out with friends – go out with friends. Do some food trips, slumber party, go to salon, clubbing, drinking or etc. Good friends are good for the heart. Who will always there to listen to your nonsense and do crazy things together. They make you feel you are not alone. But avoid those bad influences, of course.
Sports / Workouts – some people who are heartbroken focuses themselves on sports or workouts because it makes us happy. Scientifically explained that exercise makes us happy because of endorphin’s releases from our body. These triggers a positive feeling. Today’s generation is the most out of shape. You may hate to admit it but sometimes is the reason why you look for someone else. Being fit makes you feel good, confident and beautiful.
5. Find new love
The most effective way for me is to date someone else. You may think it’s a rebound. Yes and no. We easily fall in love when we are at our vulnerable state. When i finally understood that it’s really over with my ex, i told myself, i can find someone better. I felt that i am not at fault to let myself be wasted. I made myself look good again and signed up to dating sites. That’s where i met Shaun. I was in my moving on stage when i dated him so yes, i don’t love him at first but i like him because he is very nice. As we knew each other better, spend time together, i fell for him because he is such a great person. He saved me. He made me believe in myself that there is hope for me. He’s my new beginning and hoping until the end.
Having our hearts broken makes us feel stronger and wiser the next time we met someone new. Don’t be afraid to love again because you already knew how it feels to be broken. You were there and manage to move on. That’s how strong you are. Don’t let your past be a hindrance to your bright future.
“Some people are going to leave, but that’s not the end of your story. That’s the end of their part of your story.”
You can forgive someone who truly broke your heart but you can’t forget the pain that once tore you apart.
Let me share you a good example of a good or bad KARMA about my worst long distance break up.
Before Shaun, I’ve had a few serious online dates. I dated someone online from Kentucky last December 2014. Let’s call him Mr. R. He supported me unconditionally. We promised to meet but it never happened due to financial issue. His parents were both dead and have to take care of his 3 adopted siblings. We loved each other and chatted for a year until i became impatient then we keep arguing about meeting each other. I knew the situation and i lose hope that we will meet one day. The feeling that i had for him is slowly disappearing.
I secretly signed up to Filipinocupid and chatted some guys while waiting for a good chance to break up with Mr. R.
(I knew my fault. It was really unfair for Mr. R and this is literraly cheating. I knew it very well why i totally accepted what i experienced after. I have my reasons why it happened. )
After days of secretly chatting online, i found Mr. D. He is from Ohio last January 2016. He was turning 27 and i was 25 that time. He got an injury and no work at that time but got his own savings and own house. He was on that site to find someone to marry. A good looking guy, friendly to talk with, family oriented and determined to accomplished any goals in life. Who wouldn’t fall for that?
We talked and video called everyday about anything then fell in love with each other. Then I finally took the courage to break up with Mr. R. He was hurt, mad and i understand him. It’s only normal to feel that way. He begged me to stay our online relationship but i don’t want to stay because i felt pity. Mr. R is a good guy and i only wished he found the happiness he deserves.
I blocked him and focus on Mr. D.
As for Mr. D. Our relationships were good at first but months later we had these misunderstanding that lead to huge arguments then broke up. On and off. It’s been going on throughout the year of dating.
I loved him and i knew he loved me. May be, we were not matured enough to deal with small misunderstandings. We know how hard to deal with arguments if you’re in a long distance relationship.
Then one day, i though it was a happy day for me and Mr. D, he suddenly dropped the bomb. That really changed me and i almost lost myself. You can call me pathetic or whatever but it really happened to me. I checked my phone to see if he messaged. He sent me a photo of him and this girl sitted on his lap. They were happy. He never said anything but the photo said it all.
All along, while we were happily chatting or video calling, he was dating someone else in Ohio. A thirty six years old Filipina with two sons and separated. She was a nurse there. Mr. D told me this after confessing.
He said, he was with his friends drinking then one of his friend has a Filipina girlfriend who brings other Filipina girls. Where he met this girl.
Karma? Yes. I deserved it for what i did to Mr. R. I knew then how it feels to be hurt like hell. I thought of suicide. I lose interest of everything and even my work was affected. I begged him many times to continue what we had. I lose confidence i was once had. I keep asking God why. I keep asking Mr. D why. It’s unbearable.
All i did is loving him in any way i know. I even sent him a package that he threw after we broke up. He admitted it.
God knows how i was that time. I don’t blame Mr. D because i think i deserve it. It was hard and it took time before i finally accepted the fact it’s gone.
I already forgive him but i couldn’t forget the pain. It serves as a reminder to my future relationship.
When i finally let him go, i told him that, if he replace me with that girl, i wish they would end uo together. Hope that she love him just like i did. Right now, Mr. D is happily married to that girl. As for Mr. R, I don’t know anymore. But i wish him all the best and may he find the happiness he deserves.
You can break down a woman temporarily, but a real woman will always pick up the pieces, rebuild herself, and come back stronger than ever.
I learned not to expect anything. I learned not to attach myself to someone. Just go with the flow as they say. But something i can’t change is who i am as a person. I can’t stop looking for love. I still give everything. Give all my effort without asking something in return. When you’re badly hurt, you won’t be afraid to try again because you know how it already feels. You won’t afraid of anything because you’ve been there.
It really change me somehow and i thank what had happened because of that i found my happiness. I learned to trust slowly. I matured. And find new love that i truly deserve – Shaun.