Few people are messaging me, singles or taken, asking on how i keep my long distance relationship on fire.
Handling the relationship varies the type of personality you and your partners have. Getting to know each other. That’s the basic. Spending time together or being honest with each other will help you understand and build a stronger foundation in this type of relationship.
I have 5 steps here that actually work might help you survive a long distance relationship.
Communication is essential. Without this, you will feel disconnected with your special someone. You cannot have a better understanding to your online date or girlfriend and cannot create a strong bond despite being away from each other. Whether it is through call, text, chat emails, video call, anytime or anywhere.
Yo won’t be updated what is going on with his or her on the other side of the world.
For me and Shaun, since his is 4 hours ahead of me, he always first greeted me a morning messages then tell me about his morning or even his dreams. As soon as i wake up each morning, i always first check his messages and respond to it. At first, you will feel that this is tiring or boring but if you make it a habit then you will lacking without messaging each other about anything. I did not aiming for a respond right away because we respect each others time. We are both working so we message when we can and check as soon as we have time.
Also, you have to consider a good way to communicate. We only use viber since Shaun does not have any social media account. Thankful for viber that is equipped with the things we needed in communication.
2. Trust Each Other
Trust plays a vital part in a healthy relationship especially in a long distance relationship. Why? Because you are not together. Your partner cannot see how are you doing, what are you doing or who you are with. Most of the relationship in LDR falls apart because of it. Most people don’t give trust right away in the early stage of their relationship. Trust needs to be earn. Trust are invested, that if this falls apart, then its DONE.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship before that i even begged someone to trust me but he failed to accept it. It was hard not to be trusted because i know myself i did not do anything wrong and i keep hoping and praying that person sees it. I did everything and it’s depressing. Still he did not trust me. But later i realized, i was not the problem. It was him. That was when i started not trusting anyone right away. Because i know myself. I am always honest. Before i trust someone, he or she should be honest to me as well.
For Shaun and I, we always tell each other about anything. No secrets. Whenever we went and who we are with. For example, i went to Iloilo, he knows that is faraway from Manila so i keep him updated so that he will feel that his with me during my travel. If I’m with friends, i always send him pictures or videos during the event. Introduce him to people i am with at that moment.
Without trust, we won’t be here. We won’t last long.
3.Respect and Accept One’s Personality
Shaun is introvert. That one word tells everything. I, on the other hand, an extrovert. May be the reason we stay strong and stay this long it’s because we are totally opposite. Because of our opposite personalities we keep learning or discovering things to each other.
Being serious is too boring. You have to be sweet, funny, naughty, diligent, and creative. If you can be all of that then trust me, that will help you to win someone’s heart easily.
Even Shaun wants a quiet environment, i tend to make things fun for him. He knows i hate boring environment and i know he hates noisy or loud sounds. So we tend to respect what we like or dislike and give each other’s time.
Timing is the key. Overdoing it is a big No.
4. Virtual Dates
Find a creative way to spend each other time despite the distance. Shaun initially thought of this idea. We accidentally ate the same food one Saturday and he thought of eating the same food each Saturdays. I find it very cute coming from a guy. Usually, girls though of cute things in a relationship.
We started that since 2017 and until now we are still doing it even together. It’s like a tradition for us that our week won’t be complete without it. During Saturdates we talk a lot of things like future activities, how we are for the week during work or talk about other people.
Most couples do online games together as their bonding time or watch the same movies. So, think of a creative ways to spend time with your LDR partner.
5. Sending Gifts, Letters or Visit
Giving provides greater satisfaction than receiving.
An online relationship won’t be complete without meeting each other. But don’t push it on someone. I know some people who are pushing their partners to meet them in person. First, we have to consider the financial capacity of our partner. We don’t love them for money in the first place. Unless thats your ulterior motive in online dating. There is a right time for that and probably your partner is already saving for it.
Since i can’t visit Shaun to his country, i thought of sending him a package. I am not sending him gifts just because i want something in return. He even told me that letters i made are enough and haven’t thought he will get lots. He really appreciated it because no one has ever done that for him. It makes me happy because that’s my purpose, to make him happy.
If you are reading this now, start making your move. Follow my steps and message me how it goes.
You guys can also reach me via instagram. I’ll be happy to help you and giving you advices through my experience.
LDR or not it is the same feeling – we love. Love comes in any shapes and sizes. It only varies how deep you love that person and for what reason. But experiencing good love gone bad is so painful. The pain which prevents us from moving forward. We all know that moving on isn’t easy. While time is the best healer, let me tell you how i moved on.
After my last LDR break up, I had several sleepless night with non stop cries. Imagine yourself dying inside but need to keep on living. Pretending that everything was fine. I thought, no one will noticed but it reflected in my productivity. I told my supervisor what I’ve been going through. I’m not the type of person to randomly open a sensitive issue involving myself. I thought they will only laugh at it.
But an open ears, open mind and shoulders to cry on helped me clear my thoughts. Because i was so negative. I have no will to live. I even thought about suicide many times. Luckily, I have a phobia of cuts – an open wound. I also distanced myself with everyone. I only wanted to cry and sleep every night. Only God and few friends knew what i did just to forget the pain.
One day, i just woke up, faced the mirror and hated the way i look. I felt so ugly. I realized this is not what i want for myself. I felt angry. I wanted revenge if possible. I slowly fixed what was broken. I wanted to be strong and showed them what they’ve lost.
Figuring out how to move on from a relationship is one of the most difficult transitions in a person’s life. But it somehow come out naturally.
These are the steps that helped me move on.
1. Cut the connection
I realized that i cannot move on if i still have his contact information. Because whenever i missed him, i easily sent him any messages. The more i message him, the more i wanted him to respond. If he responded, i was hoping we can fix what we had. It was hard. There were times that i deleted all his information, but find ways to have it back from my record. But in the end, i managed to do it. Congratulations if you did! You feel relieved. I’m telling you.
2. Practice forgiveness
At first, i had many “why’s”. Why he replaced me? Why her? Why not me? I never felt so insecure in my entire life. After i learning it the hard way and accepting the fact why it happened, i finally understood that you can’t easily manipulate someone’s heart. To where it beats. You can avoid or control but once you’re drown with those feelings, it is hard to get out. He met her with a circle of friends in a bar. They bonded. Enjoy each other’s company then fell in love. For someone like me that is far from him, i only saw him or talked to him via phone. We can’t touch each other. I felt that i can’t compete with her. When i decided to let go, i wished them their happiness and hoped that the choice he made was right. I forgive him. But I cannot forget what he did.
3. Love yourself
How can i fight a war if i look miserable? If i continue to be hurt then it will reflect on my appearance and everyone will feel sorry for me. We don’t want that, do we? I changed myself. Not only physically, but aslo emotionally.
4. Focus on other things
Keep yourself busy. Do what you like/love. I know that when we are heart broken, we only focus on being hurt. We tend to forget the things that once makes us feel alive.
Travel – wether if with friends or alone. Exploring new places refreshes our soul.
Focus on your job – we always hear that we should set aside personal matters when we are at work but sometimes it’s not that easy. But if there are available projects, grab the opportunity to make yourself busy. Remind yourself why you need to work.
Spend time with family – no one can understand you better than your family. Not everyone has that family we can rely on but if you do, it will help a lot.
Hang out with friends – go out with friends. Do some food trips, slumber party, go to salon, clubbing, drinking or etc. Good friends are good for the heart. Who will always there to listen to your nonsense and do crazy things together. They make you feel you are not alone. But avoid those bad influences, of course.
Sports / Workouts – some people who are heartbroken focuses themselves on sports or workouts because it makes us happy. Scientifically explained that exercise makes us happy because of endorphin’s releases from our body. These triggers a positive feeling. Today’s generation is the most out of shape. You may hate to admit it but sometimes is the reason why you look for someone else. Being fit makes you feel good, confident and beautiful.
5. Find new love
The most effective way for me is to date someone else. You may think it’s a rebound. Yes and no. We easily fall in love when we are at our vulnerable state. When i finally understood that it’s really over with my ex, i told myself, i can find someone better. I felt that i am not at fault to let myself be wasted. I made myself look good again and signed up to dating sites. That’s where i met Shaun. I was in my moving on stage when i dated him so yes, i don’t love him at first but i like him because he is very nice. As we knew each other better, spend time together, i fell for him because he is such a great person. He saved me. He made me believe in myself that there is hope for me. He’s my new beginning and hoping until the end.
Having our hearts broken makes us feel stronger and wiser the next time we met someone new. Don’t be afraid to love again because you already knew how it feels to be broken. You were there and manage to move on. That’s how strong you are. Don’t let your past be a hindrance to your bright future.
“It’s so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you.”
I sometimes wonder how singles ever manage to date someone from afar or how couples survive long distance relationship before the popularity of online dating sites, apps, social media or even before email.
I know, most of us are thankful for the technology we have today. It made our life easier to communicate with our loved ones accross continents in ways that would have been unthinkable even just a decade ago. Most people nowadays are thankful to meet their significant others online!
This topic inspires me to share my opinion from my personal experiences due to many friends who are interested in knowing where Shaun and I met. I can totally relate since I’ve been in their position before.
Most dating sites and apps works the same. I even recognized some familiar faces. May be they are having a hard time as well searching for the right one. But seriously, I’ve been a member of various sites for the reason, I haven’t found a good one to search for. May be if only use correctly, it would have been easy to all of us.
Facebook – this is the popular one to search for. You can find pages or groups then start talking to someone. Two things I hated with this app, first, perverts are everywhere and next, lots of cheaters. Because you can message anyone. Seriously, as in seriously same goes to other apps. This is cheap almost costless, accessible but not much reliable for me. Well, others are lucky to find true love here. I even met my first online boyfriend from this app. He’s from London. And because this is facebook, he doesn’t trust me and find someone else. Not my loss actually.
Facebook to fakebook to fakelove. Same goes to other apps. You can download the dating app and register as a free member. But, enable to chat others, you need to pay or deal with many advertisements.
In my opinion, dating websites is still the best one to find love. Why? Because someone is willing to pay in order to search for love. It symbolizes how true he really is in finding the right one. If a member found his/her partner, he/she can cancel the subscription anytime or even deactivated the account.
My Boyfriend is a member of filipinocupid site that’s why I can message him. In hundreds of girls chatting him, he chose me. So I’m very lucky. 🙂
Though, each of us can find love in unexpected way or place. Sometimes, we just go with the flow of life and let this takes you anywhere.
Don’t waste your time, effort and money. Think of a good place where you can find the love of your life. The crucial part to remember is be smart in dating someone online you won’t easily be fooled if you are wise. Whether it’s the site, app or social media media. You can talk with anyone freely but don’t easily give your trust.
STOP CHATTING if you notice some signals. Not only you save your time and effort, but also to save yourself from getting hurt.
I have been in online dating for almost 6 years now and I experienced a lot before I found my boyfriend. So I want to personally share these tips for aspiring singles who dare to seek love online.
These LDR tips I am going to share are based from my personal experiences.
1. Beware of FAKE PROFILES. Admit it. Good pictures usually caught our attention first before we check through the details. Even the if the pictures are not good enough but a good background attracts us. They use fake identities which I completely understand why – for good and bad purposes.
We know that being pretty or handsome still top of our list so people will try everything to make themselves look better. And I am not exempted to this because I love filter apps but not to the extent it will totally change my appearance.
I really hate poser account. A guy from UK chatted me in facebook before. He is handsome alright. I never demanded a video call because my phone was not advance. So I am contented with sharing photos and chatting with him. In our 3 mos of dating, he confessed. He said it was not him. So I felt very nervous that time. But when he sent me his real pictures with sign in it. I like him even more. Because the real him is more handsome. He is not confident enough. I can not understand how guys look themselves in the mirror. Anyway, it is still bad to use other people’s images.
This one is the weirdest among fake profiles. Chatting to a guy without knowing it’s a girl and vice versa. Really creepy. For example scenario, try watching Tulfo in Action on YouTube.
2. NO VIDEO CALL. Thanks for cheap phones that we all can afford to communicate easily. So I can see no reason to be fooled by these catfishes. Still, there are some who are victimized. Because fake people tend to be good at chatting and great for making alibis not to video call. Super signal.
The type we all are familiar with. Whether it is a guy or a girl. It is the same. Asking for money to random people who you do not know or to someone you chatted as your victim is a signal. Please ununderstand that these people work hard for their money too. Search for it and you will read lots of scam stories. The most common alibi they use is a sick family member.
Okay let’s not be hypocrites here. Some of us are willing to share our sexy photos to our online dates including me but if they tend to ask beyond of what you can share like asking for nudes then block that person right away. Some guys randomly asks for naked pictures after few talks. So annoying.
This one is the hardest to determine especially in chatting. I even chatted someone who calls me a psycho. What?! Just because I am arguing with him does not define me for being one. This signal pertains to rapists,killers,ill people so be careful. I can not personally say how but I read and watch news a lot. My only experience of talking to a psycho is that I chatted this guy before then it was like talking to different person. His mood swing is very extreme. We argued a lot in chat so I stop.
That’s all. Share some opinion in the comments below!
Creating a dating profile is very easy. But making it stand out is difficult.
Yes, because I’ve been there. I joined many dating sites or dating apps and they are almost the same when making your dating profile. Eventually, i learned it myself how to make it effective.
Fortunately, I have some tips to help you create an exceptional profile that will make you stand out from other singles on the site.
Chosing the right photos is the first step. Usually, some dating sites allows us to put maximum of 5 photos. What i did is i put five different photos of myself. A photo in my corporate attire, casual, bikini on the beach, with friends and dress. For me, posting different photos of myself showcasing what i look like in different aspects. It sometimes reveals about who we are. So we have to be careful what photos we show as it will create a positive or negative approach from our prospect dates.
2. Hobbies Before i message someone, i take time to read his profile. Because it gives me idea how to communicate with him. People want to see how they can interact with you. So take time to write the things about you including the activities you do.
Some dating sites are paid but free to register. The reason we pay or register is because we want to find our partner. We do not want our time, money and effort go to waste. So indicate the type of person you want to date. It is not a crime to be selective. Online dating helps us to find that ideal person we want to be as partner. Like, single, never married, no kids, don’t smoke, etc,etc.
This is only limited and some people do not actually read long paragraphs. That means you need a couple sentences why you’re a good catch. As for me, i am naturally a funny person and hate dull moments so i tell a joke and state an embarrassing moment of myself. A partner with good sense of humor is vital in relationships. Don’t force but be natural. It only takes one to make a great relationship.
5. Honesty Don’t be ashamed to show your flaws. Because no matter how pretty pictures you put into your profile, it is not enough to find the right one. These include the age, name, location, apppearances or about yourself. You don’t have to put everything but enough to let them think you are genuine.
Remember, dating profile is only the first step in finding the right date. But it means nothing if you can’t communicate well with someone. Communication is like the fuel in online dating, without it, it’ll stop moving.
I was just a normal student who only wants to survive college while doing some part time job until free Facebook came.
No one can refuse with free things, right? Unless, you are well off already.
It was December 2013, when my phone was only Nokia 3110c and can accessed the internet via mobile data connection. I also want to thank Globe Telecom that time because for the free Facebook access. It was there i exposed myself to online dating.
Am i only searching for foreigner? No.
Do i prefer white people that time? No.
Do i know any dating site or apps that time? No.
I only have free facebook access with my Nokia phone.
The enjoyment of having free access for a poor person such as myself was like heaven. I was able to join groups and talk with anyone. I spoke with a lot of guys from different countries and cultures like Indian, American, British Filipino etc, etc,.
Before online dating, i had no luck with any Filipino guy i fancied. Same as, not liking those guys who liked me back then.
Until one British guy i met from a Facebook group constantly chatting me and i fell for him.
He was my first foreigner i dated online. We never video called because of my phone. He even fooled me by using someone else’s photos but in the end, took the courage to send me his real photo. He’s handsome actually.
He even sent me a Me To You teddy from UK. He even promised to attend my graduation.
To cut the story short, we broke up after 3 months because of some reasons.
1. I have limited resources to communicate with him.
2. He was broken when we first chatted but later i discovered they’re back in each other’s arms.
3. I was too immature to handle a relationship even online since i don’t have any real life experiences with special someone.
I was heartbroken because i thought i love him that much that i let this affect my studies. To think, i was a graduating student. A crucial stage of my life.
I am far away from my family. That time, all i have was friends. I became so busy with my projects that i slowly forgotten him. But there were times, before i close my eyes each night, i remembered him then cried. He already deleted his Facebook account.
I was moving on when i got back to online dating again. I checked my inbox and received many messages from strangers. i later realized that i only entertained white guys. I admit, i was looking for someone who almost look like him that time.
I think, he’s the reason why i prefer white guys. Because i fell in love with how he looked, how he talked to me and taught me how online dating works. In addition to that, I’m an avid fan with American shows or movies and English Ebooks.
I did not know what other people’s purpose there are but all i want is LOVE. Online dating showed me the easiest way to find it. And until now, I’m still in a long distance relationship!