Tag Archives: Ldr care package

How To Forget Your Ex LDR Boyfriend

In order to love who you are you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.

LDR or not it is the same feeling – we love. Love comes in any shapes and sizes. It only varies how deep you love that person and for what reason. But experiencing good love gone bad is so painful. The pain which prevents us from moving forward. We all know that moving on isn’t easy. While time is the best healer, let me tell you how i moved on.

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After my last LDR break up, I had several sleepless night with non stop cries. Imagine yourself dying inside but need to keep on living. Pretending that everything was fine. I thought, no one will noticed but it reflected in my productivity. I told my supervisor what I’ve been going through. I’m not the type of person to randomly open a sensitive issue involving myself. I thought they will only laugh at it.

But an open ears, open mind and shoulders to cry on helped me clear my thoughts. Because i was  so negative. I have no will to live. I even thought about suicide many times. Luckily, I have a phobia of cuts – an open wound. I also distanced myself with everyone. I only wanted to cry and sleep every night. Only God and few friends knew what i did just to forget the pain.

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One day, i just woke up, faced the mirror and hated the way i look. I felt so ugly. I realized this is not what i want for myself. I felt angry. I wanted revenge if possible. I slowly fixed what was broken. I wanted to be strong and showed them what they’ve lost.

Figuring out how to move on from a relationship is one of the most difficult transitions in a person’s life. But it somehow come out naturally.
These are the steps that helped me move on.

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1. Cut the connection

I realized that i cannot move on if i still have his contact information. Because whenever i missed him, i easily sent him any messages. The more i message him, the more i wanted him to respond. If he responded, i was hoping we can fix what we had. It was hard. There were times that i deleted all his information, but find ways to have it back from my record. But in the end, i managed to do it. Congratulations if you did! You feel relieved. I’m telling you.

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2. Practice forgiveness

At first, i had many “why’s”. Why he replaced me? Why her? Why not me? I never felt so insecure in my entire life. After i learning it the hard way and accepting the fact why it happened, i finally understood that you can’t easily manipulate someone’s heart. To where it beats. You can avoid or control but once you’re drown with those feelings, it is hard to get out. He met her with a circle of friends in a bar. They bonded. Enjoy each other’s company then fell in love. For someone like me that is far from him, i only saw him or talked to him via phone. We can’t touch each other. I felt that i can’t compete with her. When i decided to let go, i wished them their happiness and hoped that the choice he made was right. I forgive him. But I cannot forget what he did.

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3. Love yourself

How can i fight a war if i look miserable? If i continue to be hurt then it will reflect on my appearance and everyone will feel sorry for me. We don’t want that, do we? I changed myself. Not only physically, but aslo emotionally.

4. Focus on other things

Keep yourself busy. Do what you like/love. I know that when we are heart broken, we only focus on being hurt. We tend to forget the things that once makes us feel alive.

  • Travel – wether if with friends or alone. Exploring new places refreshes our soul.

  • Focus on your job – we always hear that we should set aside personal matters when we are at work but sometimes it’s not that easy. But if there are available projects, grab the opportunity to make yourself busy. Remind yourself why you need to work.

  • Spend time with family – no one can understand you better than your family. Not everyone has that family we can rely on but if you do, it will help a lot.

  • Hang out with friends – go out with friends. Do some food trips, slumber party, go to salon, clubbing, drinking or etc. Good friends are good for the heart. Who will always there to listen to your nonsense and do crazy things together. They make you feel you are not alone. But avoid those bad influences, of course.

  • Sports / Workouts – some people who are heartbroken focuses themselves on sports or workouts because it makes us happy. Scientifically explained that exercise makes us happy because of endorphin’s releases from our body. These triggers a positive feeling. Today’s generation is the most out of shape. You may hate to admit it but sometimes is the reason why you look for someone else. Being fit makes you feel good, confident and beautiful.

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5. Find new love

The most effective way for me is to date someone else. You may think it’s a rebound. Yes and no. We easily fall in love when we are at our vulnerable state. When i finally understood that it’s really over with my ex, i told myself, i can find someone better. I felt that i am not at fault to let myself be wasted. I made myself look good again and signed up to dating sites. That’s where i met Shaun. I was in my moving on stage when i dated him so yes, i don’t love him at first but i like him because he is very nice. As we knew each other better, spend time together, i fell for him because he is such a great person. He saved me. He made me believe in myself that there is hope for me. He’s my new beginning and hoping until the end.

 

Having our hearts broken makes us feel stronger and wiser the next time we met someone new. Don’t be afraid to love again because you already knew how it feels to be broken. You were there and manage to move on. That’s how strong you are. Don’t let your past be a hindrance to your bright future.

Avoid These Five Types of People on Online Dating Sites

STOP CHATTING if you notice some signals. Not only you save your time and effort, but also to save yourself from getting hurt.

I have been in online dating for almost 6 years now and I experienced a lot before I found my boyfriend. So I want to personally share these tips for aspiring singles who dare to seek love online.

These LDR tips I am going to share are based from my personal experiences. 

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1. Beware of FAKE PROFILES. Admit it. Good pictures usually caught our attention first before we check through the details. Even the if the pictures are not good enough but a good background attracts us. They use fake identities which I completely understand why – for good and bad purposes.

We know that being pretty or handsome still top of our list so people will try everything to make themselves look better. And I am not exempted to this because I love filter apps but not to the extent it will totally change my appearance.

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I really hate poser account. A guy from UK chatted me in facebook before. He is handsome alright. I never demanded a video call because my phone was not advance. So I am contented with sharing photos and chatting with him. In our 3 mos of dating, he confessed. He said it was not him. So I felt very nervous that time. But when he sent me his real pictures with sign in it. I like him even more. Because the real him is more handsome. He is not confident enough. I can not understand how guys look themselves in the mirror. Anyway, it is still bad to use other people’s images.

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This one is the weirdest among fake profiles. Chatting to a guy without knowing it’s a girl and vice versa. Really creepy. For example scenario, try watching Tulfo in Action on YouTube.

2. NO VIDEO CALL. Thanks for cheap phones that we all can afford to communicate easily. So I can see no reason to be fooled by these catfishes. Still, there are some who are victimized. Because fake people tend to be good at chatting and great for making alibis not to video call. Super signal.

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3. SCAMMER.

The type we all are familiar with. Whether it is a guy or a girl. It is the same. Asking for money to random people who you do not know or to someone you chatted as your victim is a signal. Please ununderstand that these people work hard for their money too. Search for it and you will read lots of scam stories. The most common alibi they use is a sick family member.

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4.PERVERT ALERT. 

Okay let’s not be hypocrites here. Some of us are willing to share our sexy photos to our online dates including me but if they tend to ask beyond of what you can share like asking for nudes then block that person right away. Some guys randomly asks for naked pictures after few talks. So annoying.

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5. PSYCHO. 

This one is the hardest to determine especially in chatting. I even chatted someone who calls me a psycho. What?! Just because I am arguing with him does not define me for being one. This signal pertains to rapists,killers,ill people so be careful. I can not personally say how but I read and watch news a lot. My only experience of talking to a psycho is that I chatted this guy before then it was like talking to different person. His mood swing is very extreme. We argued a lot in chat so I stop.

That’s all. Share some opinion in the comments below!

Photo credits to google images.